I haven’t had a peaceful day recently. I wish I don’t have to be annoyed by the things that bother me, but I suppose it’s impossible as long as I live.

Sorrowing Old Man by Van Gogh

I think that the greatness of Van Gogh resides with the fact that he was able to create a total of 2,100 masterpieces (860 being oil painting) within 10 years – mostly dated in the last two years – despite his manic depression, delusions, and poverty (even with Theo’s support).

Often he heads the letters to Theo with “Thank you for sending me 50 francs, or $51.41.”

 He buys pencils, colors, canvases and frames and such from it, and uses the rest for living expenses. Then he goes onto lively talk regarding his pieces. It is really, really enthusiasm.

Vincent Van Gogh

Now that I also paint, I realized that when I am working, I am immersed in its world. There is no space for anything else to seep into.

When I was a therapist, I also used some art therapy; apparently, artistic activities soften the turmoil of the soul and heightens the power to resolve problems. Perhaps, taking a crayon or a color pencil onto a white paper and drawing scenery from your window, your reflection, or some silent object in front of you, would be good for you whenever something depressing or worrisome happened.

I think that an abstract painting is also great to refresh brain and mind. Just draw something having no specific shape, formless on the white paper, following what your heart says… That’s it.

By working on an art and detaching yourself from the problem, you may think of some positive solutions that weren’t there before. A healthy wind may blow into your soul. The body (should) follow your healthy mentality.

Also, although it’s at the end of this homepage “portfolio” as well, “Meditation” is helpful for calming yourself down.

Go to Portfolio/Meditation

Photo by Kaupo Kalda

The end of his letter is addressed to Theo.

“Well, my own work, I am risking my life for it and my reason has half-foundered owing to it – that’s all right–but, you are not among the dealers in men so far as I know, and you can choose your side, I think acting with true humanity, but what’ the use?”

If he were alive just a bit longer, he would have been able to see his success himself… my tears won’t stop whenever I think of these words.

As I wrote so much, I realized that all the things that kept my soul on the edge simply disappeared. Maybe continuous writing is good for regaining peace in life as well?

I think I will again work on my job and the “paintings” I wish to continue until the day I leave this world. There are so many beautiful people out there. I wish to do my best too.

Vincent Van Gogh



テオ宛の手紙の冒頭では、よく「50 フラン(5628円)」を送ってくれてありがとう」と感謝の返信をしている。その中から絵筆やキャンバスや額を買い、残りを生活費に充てる。その後は自身の描く絵について情熱的に語る。“狂熱”というものだろうか。

絵を描き始めて思うのだが、絵を描いているときは絵の世界に入り込んで他の想念など一切 入り込まない。以前セラピストをしていたときに絵画療法(Art therapy)なども活用していたことがある。創作活動というのは心の葛藤を和らげ、問題解決能力を高める。

気が滅入ったときや心配ごとなどがあるときに、白い紙にクレヨンや色鉛筆で窓の外の景色や鏡の中の自画像や目の前の静物を描いてみるといいのかもしれない。抽象画も頭や気持ちをリフレッシュするのに良いと思う。ただ 形のないものを思いのままに白い紙に描く… それだけだ。

Photo by Todd Trapani 

絵を描くことで問題から自分を切り離し、それから戻ってもう一度 その問題に取り組むとまた違った肯定的な考えが浮かぶかもしれない。


また このホームページの “Portfolio”の最後にも載せてあるが、「瞑想」も精神統一には本当に効き目がある。Youtubeにはいろんな「瞑想」のサイトが紹介してあるので試してみる価値はあると思う。



あと もう少し長く生きていれば、自分の成功を自分で確かめられただろうに… これを思うとき、涙が止まらない。

Photo by Matteo Paganelli 

今 ここまで書いてきたら、心を突っ張らせてきたものが全部 消えているのに気付いた。文章を書き綴るのも平穏な気持ちを取り戻すのにいいのかな?

また新しく「気」を取り直し 仕事と残りの人生でずっと描き続けるつもりの「絵」に取り掛かろうと思う。素晴しい人たちがたくさんいる。私も頑張りたい。